Thanks

At school pick-up on Tuesday afternoon, a friend greeted me with a hearty "Congratulations!"

"What for?" I asked.

"Your dinner party, of course."

Quite frankly, I'm flattered that anyone cares about my little dinner party.

Thanks to friends, family and fellow bloggers who have lent their support and cheered me on along on my journey towards domestication.

Yesterday, when someone asked me to describe this blog, I started by saying "it's about my attempt to learn how to cook, clean, and entertain."

But the more I rambled on about it, the more I began to realize that it's not just about my quest to become "domesticated." Undomesticated Me is about re-inventing yourself and tackling new challenges.

For years, I viewed myself as a non-cook -- a general hazard in the kitchen. I'd laugh about how I couldn't cook anything other than pop-tarts. It was a running joke in my family that I couldn't be trusted to turn on the microwave. I was always afraid that if I learned to cook, I'd be stuck in the kitchen rather than out in the world doing things.

I'm surprised to discover that I can do things in the kitchen and have fun. It's empowering to know that I can feed myself and my family and friends. And it's exciting to know that you're never too old to learn a new skill (even though I've heard that before, I never quite believed it). Now that I've sort of learned how to cook, I can tackle anything -- learning to knit, learning to sew, who knows what's next?!

Dinner at Eight

Meryl Streep and Sandra Bullock can shine at the Academy Awards tonight. I had my moment in the spotlight last night. There was no red carpet, but the guests got gussied and looked fabulous up for my First Ever Dinner Party.

I’ll give you the full report in due time (although you'll have to be patient because there's too much to include in just one blog post). But, rest assured that nothing burned and nobody was injured in the course of the evening. In other words, it was a roaring success!

After loading up on groceries at both Fairway and The Park Slope Food Coop on Friday, I started to panic.

"Do I have enough food?" I asked no one in particular as I surveyed six pounds of meat, more Brussels Sprouts than I've seen in one place before, and a tub of ice cream that could barely fit in our freezer. I have never cooked for so many people before, so it was hard to judge how much to buy.

I resolved to pick up some last-minute items on Saturday (including baguettes), but I continued to fret.

"Should I serve the cheese at the end of the meal like the French or at the beginning of the meal?" I asked Avo.

Avo, who is an unabashed Euro-phile (he crosses his sevens!) was surprisingly insistent that we should have a cheese table for people to graze on (paired with wine, of course) when they arrive. He even had the brilliant idea of printing out labels for the cheese and sticking them on tooth picks so people know what they’re eating.

Thanks to the "cheese guy" at Fairway, I picked up quite a selection (descriptions courtesy of Fairway):

Le Petit Billy --Unripened, unashed selles-sur-cher. Named after the village of Billy in Berry. Pasteurized goat’s milk),
Brillat Savarin -- The first triple-crème, created in the 1930s by cheesemaker Henry Androuet, named for the 18th century gourmant and politician, Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin. Luscious, sweet, faintly tart. Pasteurized cow’s milk.
Kerry Gold Vintage Irish Cheddar -- The Irish cheese crafters that produce Blarney and Dubliner, limited production. Only the very best are allowed to bear the vintage label. Pasteurized cow’s milk, cheese cultures, salt and enzymes. A connoisseur’s cheddar, rich, firm, smooth body.
Spanish Cabrales. Cabrales cheese is only from cabrales and 3 villages of concejo de panamellera alta, in the southeastern principality of Austurias,
in the northside of the picos de Europa mountains. Pasteurized cow’s milk
Le Chatelain -- Camembert from Normandy, lower temperature pasteurizatioin ensures big, fruity flavor, as close as you’ll get to the A.O.C. original. Pasteurized cow’s milk.

For good measure, I also tossed a container of smoked salmon pate into the shopping basket at Fairway.

"You bought it?" asked Avo. "Why not make it from scratch?"

"Well, The Joy of Cooking says it's very French to mix in some quality store bought things like pate."

"Sounds like a rationalization to me! If the French do it, it must be okay."

Well, it works for me.

Then I proceeded to stress about dessert.

I had planned to make the apple spice cake from The Joy of Cooking and offer it up a la mode (Haagen Dazs vanilla). But the recipe serves eight and I had twelve people coming.

What to do? Of course, I'd bake my reliable brownie recipe. It's a crowd pleaser and I already have the ingredients on hand.

"I thought you wanted to make something gourmet," said Avo.

"But everybody likes the brownies. And I've done them before."

"They're just so pedestrian. I just thought you were going to really challenge yourself."

He's right – this dinner party was supposed to be a challenge, but there's no reason I should make it an insurmountable challenge.

To be continued...Check back soon to find out if the guests showed up on time and... if the cheese was a hit...and if dessert impressed...and if everybody had enough to eat and drink.

Last Minute Scramble

Tomorrow is the big Dinner Party day and I have still have so much left to do. Luckily, my friend Kathryn has offered to give me a ride to Fairway so I can stock up on last-minute items (which pretty much includes everything). I plan to prep as much as possible today, so I can focus on the stew tomorrow.

I also need to clean the house (although the kids will undoubtedly wreck it before tomorrow night). Plus, I still haven't decided what to wear. My folks bought me an apron ("The Dinner Miracle: It Only Happens If You Believe") that I'll don for the occasion, but I still need an outfit suitable for an aspiring domestic goddess. It's too late to shop, so I'll have to scavenge through the closet and see what I can come up with.

I'm wondering if I should assign seats and create place holders. Experts say that the key to a successful dinner party is inviting the right mix of people and sparking a lively conversation. I have a feeling that this group won't have any problem finding something to gab about. Still, since they are mostly new friends of mine (and a couple of people I've never met before) who don't know each other, it might be fun to seat people according to interest.

Should I put the two photographers together and what about the foodies? I have a feeling that Mr. Di Franco, the girls' music teacher, is going to hit it off with Giulia Melucci since they're both Brooklyn-bred Italian-Americans who love to cook. I'm also guessing that the British film critic will get a kick out of Avo's tales of old Hollywood stars he met as a kid. Even I enjoy hearing his story about how Peter Sellers offered to buy him a gold digital watch, but his mom made him refuse the offer -- and I've heard the tale countless times before.

Of course, the girls are excited to greet the guests. "Mr. Di Franco will get to see our room and he'll see our pajamas!" We'll let them stay up past their bedtime so they can say "hello," but then hopefully, they'll say "good night" and leave the adults to wine and dine.

Just writing about my expectations for the night is getting me excited. I hope I'm not disappointed. It is, after all, just a dinner party. Still, it's my first-ever dinner party and a girl can only have one of those.

Anyway, I promise to report back as soon as I recover from the festivities.

Dinner Party Practice

The Joy of Cooking has a section devoted to Entertaining which I referred to recently for advice about dinner party etiquette. They have two simple rules when it comes to planning the menu:

Choose food that can be prepared ahead of time, so that you can spend more time at the table than over the stove, and never, ever, make a dish for company that you haven't made before and mastered.

Along those lines, I thought it was only wise to try out the Slow-Cooker Beef Burgundy (from The Best Slow & Easy Recipes) that I had planned for Saturday's dinner party.

I have barely ever cooked with meat before and I have certainly never made a stew, so the task was a bit daunting. For some reason, I feel like making stew with a slow-cooker is less intimidating than using a big pot on the stove. Avo continues to scoff at the gigantic Crock Pot that is taking up valuable space in our cupboard, but I am determined to put it to good use.

On Friday -- during the snowstorm -- Avo was sent home from work early, so I dispatched him to United Meat Market to buy 5 pounds of boneless beef chuck eye roast, trimmed and cut into 1 1/2 inch pieces. Why cut the meat myself when the butcher is happy to do it for me?

"Bacon!" bellowed Ruby, who is hog wild about the stuff. She begged for a taste when I cooked up the bacon (I couldn't deny her).

"How do you mince carrots?" I asked Avo.

He took one look at me trying to chop carrots with a bread knife and rolled his eyes.

"Why don't you use the Cuisinart?" he asked.

"Um, yeah, of course, good idea. In fact, can you mince the onions, carrot, garlic and thyme for me?"

Sweetheart that he is, of course, he agreed to be my "sous-chef" and prep the veggies and herbs.

After cooking the onions, carrot, tomato paste, garlic and thyme in the bacon fat, I double-checked the recipe. Oops, I forgot an essential ingredient: a bottle of Pinot Noir. I quickly got on the phone to the mom of one of Jesse's friends and made a barter arrangement -- You can drop your kid off at our house for a few hours as long as you bring me a bottle of Pinot Noir. Deal.

When I got to the end of the recipe, I panicked when I realized I didn't have any frozen pearl onions. Avo said he couldn't find them at the co-op. I decided to boldly ignore the recipe and do without them. What other option did I have?

Once I dumped the mixture to the slow cooker and stirred in the chicken broth, soy sauce, tapioca, and bay leaves, I "nestled" the beef into the crock pot.

"How do you nestle beef anyhow?" I asked Avo rhetorically.

"Beats me. I think it just means be gentle with it."

I put the lid on and set the thing on high.

"You sure it's plugged in?" asked Avo, who almost seemed as if he was hoping to catch me in a glaring mistake (he really does hate the crock pot).

Luckily, it was, in fact, plugged in.

Nearly seven hours and a roasted Brussels Sprouts tossed with bacon later and dinner was served.

The girls got a kick out of setting the table "fancy" with a table cloth and cloth napkins. It was a lot of effort for just one guest, my grown-up nephew. But it was worth the effort since now I can confidently re-create this dish on Saturday.

Even Avo had to grudgingly admit the meat was flavorful, tender and delicious. We didn't even miss the frozen pearl onions.

So I guess the crock pot has gotten a reprieve...for now.

Dinner Party Countdown

The countdown has begun for my first-ever dinner party which is less than a week away. Of course, I’ve had friends over before, but usually, they were impromptu affairs – beer and Thai take-out with old friends.

This time, I’m going all out. I already sprung for the fancy letterpress invitations and now I’m sparing no expense in planning the big event. I’ve inquired about renting a table and chairs and am thinking I might spring for the table cloth, linen napkins, place settings and silverware. I’m not sure if I’ve got any other options unless I want to serve dinner on paper plates with plastic cutlery and paper napkins (I don’t).

After taking requests and mulling over the suggestions, I have finally decided what I’m going to serve. I’m tempted to be sheepish about it and hold off until I report back afterward. But I know that I can’t keep a secret and I don’t want to keep you waiting.

So here is the (tentative) menu:

1. Green salad
2. Slow-Cooker Beef Burgundy from The Best Slow & Easy Recipes
3. Roasted Brussels Sprouts Tossed with Balsamic Vinegar and Bacon
4. Baguette (but of course!)
5. Apple Spice Cake from The Joy of Cooking accompanied with Vanilla ice cream (not homemade, I’m afraid) and coffee/tea
6. Cheese Course

I may serve some pate and grapes to start things off. As you can tell, I'm trying to keep things relatively simple and stick to dishes a few quality dishes I can prepare in advance.

I don't want to be stressing when the guests arrive. I'd rather be spending time enjoying my guests than scrambling in the kitchen.

As the wonderful writer Laura Shaine Cunningham wrote:

The best dinner parties are those where the hostess appears not taxed, but relaxed. What do guests truly want? To be welcomed, and to talk. If the dinner is too studied, it can become a funeral for food — guests taking choreographed sips and nibbles, conversation as strained as the purée.

A little imperfection makes everyone feel at home. The slapdash but happy hostess has happy guests.

Along those lines, I am guessing that my guests will feel at home because this slapdash hostess is destined to be imperfect and hopefully, happy.

.

Dinner Party Guests

Word has apparently gotten out that I'm in need of dinner party guests.

This morning, a friend generously offered to supply me with a vetted crew of entertaining guests -- "insta-guests" guaranteed to have a good time.

"I've got a group of friends who get together for dinner parties already. I'm sure they'd be happy to come to yours," she said. "They're a fun bunch."

Although I'd love to meet her friends, I'm happy to announce that the folks on my list have re-adjusted their priorities (and rescheduled their manicure appointments for another night). On top of that, my daughters' music teacher Mr. Di Franco (and his significant other) has volunteered to be our not-so-mystery guest.

I'm excited about the eclectic mix of guests -- if everyone shows up, we'll have a professional photographer, a teacher/musician, a writer and cook, a blogger, a film critic, a web marketer and other interesting folks. Hopefully, they'll all get along -- and if they don't, that will be interesting too.

But now I have the opposite problem -- too many people are coming to my dinner party.

The idea was to host an intimate gathering of 8 (including me and Avo), which means six guests.

Since I panicked that nobody would come, I ended up inviting 10 people, rather than 6. Two people have declined the invitation, and I haven't yet heard from OTBKB's own Louise Crawford and her hubby. But at this point, the other 8 are planning to come. So it will be dinner for 10 -- or 12.

Unfortunately, even when it's folded out to its largest size, our dinner table only sits 8. So it will be a very intimate dinner indeed!

According to eHow, "a crowded, cluttered table takes away from the party experience, and can make guests feel uncomfortable."

Therefore, no more reservations are being accepted at Casa Undomesticated Me. I promise I'll have you over for dinner -- some other time.

In the meantime, does anybody know a place in the 'hood where I can rent a table for 12?

Dinner Party Update

It's been a couple of weeks since I decided to host my first-ever dinner party and already, I'm behind schedule.

All I have managed to do so far is set a date -- Saturday, March 6, 2010. I don't have a guest list and I certainly haven't gotten around to planning a menu.

Granted, I have been soliciting advice about the menu from none other than Martha Stewart, Giulia Melucci, and chef Sara Jenkins. Not to mention my friends and family. It seems everyone has an opinion about what I should serve, but I still can't decide.

The truth is that I can always come up with something to serve -- even if I take Martha Stewart's advice and order in. But the one thing I can't do without is guests.

Aside from Giulia Melucci and her new beau, nobody has agreed to come.

Then again, I haven't formally invited anyone. I made the mistake of e-mailing the date to a few folks asking if they might theoretically be available for the night of the 6th.

The response was lukewarm at best. People seemed downright disinterested. I thought friends would be vying for a spot at the table, not fabricating excuses.

"I'm a freelancer, so it's hard to commit," said my friend Ken.

"I've got co-op duty that night," said Dori.

"Who is going to babysit?" asked Kathryn.

Another friend just rescheduled her Belated Chinese New Year's party for the same night, which is sure to siphon off some potential guests.

"I feel dissed," I told Avo last night. "I finally get around to throwing a dinner party and nobody wants to come."

"People are busy with their own lives. Plus, it’s easy to ignore an e-mail invitation," he said. "You've got to go the whole nine yards and send out snail mail invites. Maybe even hire a calligrapher. Then people know you're serious about this."

Not sure about the calligrapher, but he's right about the handwritten invitations. In the age of Evite, nothing gets people's attention as quickly as an invitation sent via the good old U.S. mail.

"With a cocktail party, you just invite a bunch of people and see who shows up," said Avo. "There are no RSVPs. A dinner party is much more problematic."

You're telling me! So I went out and bought fancy letterpress invitations and addressed them myself. Maybe that extra effort will make all the difference.

"You have to invite a last minute mystery guest who changes the whole equation," said Avo. "Don't tell me about it."

What does he think this is? An Agatha Christie dinner party? I think we'll have enough mystery without this added element of intrigue -- especially since at the moment all of the guests are a mystery!

Dinner Party Plans

And the winner is...dinner party. The people have voted (19 for Dinner Party; 6 for Housewarming Party; 6 for Learn to Knit; 2 for Learn to Sew). Who am I to refuse? I'm flattered that you have faith in me. Or maybe you just want to see if I can survive the challenge.

The first thing I need to do is set a date -- not too soon because I won't be prepared and not too far off because then I'll have too much time to fret about the daunting task ahead.

Second, I must draw up a guest list. It's going to be challenging finding an interesting and compatible group who is free on the same night.

Third, I will draft a menu. My mom suggested that I keep the dinner party simple, including several dishes I can make in advance.

Avo will be in charge of pre-dinner cocktails and I can certainly pick up some tasty cheese and crackers from the co-op. But what then?

I have so many questions to answer: How many courses will there be? Will I prepare dishes I've made before or something entirely new? Most importantly, do we have enough chairs to seat everyone?

In the coming weeks, I plan to work out these and other details. I'm also excited to survey some local dinner party experts and solicit their advice. First up is Giulia Melucci, the Brooklyn-based author of the appetizing memoir "I Loved, I Lost, I Made Spaghetti," which was published to much acclaim last year. Look for Giulia's dinner party tips next week.

Decide My Fate

I feel so vulnerable. My future is in your hands (or rather, keyboards). You have three more days to vote in the Undomesticated Me poll.

Right now, "Throw a Dinner Party" holds a strong lead ahead of "Housewarming Party" in the poll, with "Learn to Knit" coming in a distant third and "Learn to Sew" garnering no votes. But I know how these things can suddenly change at the last minute, so I won't send out dinner invitations just yet.

Still, I am beginning to brainstorm about this theoretical dinner party. I've never actually entertained before. Sure, I've thrown my share of kids' parties before and in my 20s, my housemate and I threw lots of rockin' bashes. But I have never invited adults who are not related to me over to eat good food and engage in grown up conversation.

Before I learned to cook, the question of a dinner party was moot. It seemed awfully gauche to invite people over just to order in pizza.

Now that I've got dinner parties on my brain, I'm wondering who I would actually invite to this thing. Our dining table seats 8, so not including me and Avo, that leaves room for six guests. I've been told that a successful dinner party depends nearly as much on the mix of people as the quality of the food.

Doing research online, I found a guide to dinner party etiquette which suggests:

When selecting guests for your event, you’ll want to choose an interesting mix of characters, but make sure they will all get along. It wouldn’t do to invite people who are known to clash with other dinner guests or cause heated debates. No one wants tension at a dinner party. Your party should be a lively, stress-free event. Invite guests who are good conversationalists, especially those who are known to bring along their sense of humor.

Do you know any charming, sophisticated guests who are good conversationalists with a sense of humor? Maybe I could even write a script beforehand for them to read so I can be sure it all goes smoothly.

Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. Learn to Knit still has a shot. The poll's not over 'til it's over.