I don't know how she does it

Yesterday I posted about Alma Schneider, the social worker who started Take Back the Kitchen to help people gain the confidence and knowledge to cook healthfully for themselves.

I forgot to mention that in addition to Take Back the Kitchen, Alma is also the mother of four children!

She also does about a zillion other interesting things. She is a featured Kitchen Coach Expert on Real Savvy Moms and a healthy food sponsor for Baby Loves Disco. And she is a frequent recipe contributor to SuzySaid.com. Impressed yet?

And as if that isn't enough, Alma manages to find the time and energy to serve as the President of Parents Who Rock, a non-profit organization she founded which raises money for charity through concerts performed by parents seeking to reconnect with their musical pasts. Alma rocks!

Since she's such a pro in the kitchen, I thought Alma would be the ideal candidate for the very first of what I hope will become a regular series of Q&As here at Undomesticated Me.

Undomesticated Me: What are the most common and unique obstacles to cooking?

Alma Schneider: Many of my clients grew up on convenience or fast food with mothers who barely cooked--they had little or no cooking role models.

Typically they struggle with shopping, storing, prepping and preparing food to cook healthy meals on a consistent basis. Add to that picky kids who don't appreciate the fruits of their labors and you have a very unmotivated cooking mom who is conflicted because she wants to keep her kids healthy, save money and not be wasteful.

Then there are competitive, criticizing mother-in-laws, gourmet chef partners who only cook on the weekends making the cook wannabee feel inept, kids who melt down at the dinner table and MANY more obstacles.

UM: What is the most basic piece of advice you could give to someone like me with an irrational fear of cooking?

AS: Learning to cook is like learning ANY other skill in life. Start with small, manageable tasks and goals and make sure you have the support you need to accomplish them.

UM: What is one of the easiest, most basic recipe you would recommend to a real beginning cook?

AS: My "famous" maple soy dressing/marinade/ glaze. It is incredibly versatile, delicious, and all it requires is measuring and pouring.

Maple Soy dressing/marinade/glaze:

1/4 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup canola oil
3 TBS soy sauce
1/8 cup rice vinegar
1/2 tsp sesame oil

Whisk all ingredients together until fully combined and refrigerate. That's it!

UM: Why do you think so many women have hang-ups about being in the kitchen?

AS: Where do I begin?! Being a woman is so tied up with being a nurturer and a provider. Knowing how to cook has, throughout the ages, been a part of that nurturing and providing role.

This is one of the first generations where there has been literally zero need to learn how to cook, with little or no focus on teaching cooking.

If you have perfectionist tendencies or have difficulty multitasking, it can be very stressful not to be able to make a simple meal every day for our families -- especially when we see our friends doing it and even enjoying it!

UM: How do you manage to take care of your family, run your business, and cook delicious, healthy meals every day?

AS: It's all about the prep. I take a small amount of time (in the beginning it took longer, I admit) to think about what I was going to make. I shop and prep in advance. Creating a Menu is a life-saver and that is the key to cooking success.

UM: Thanks a lot, Alma. You are an inspiration!

What's for dinner?

I can now understand why asking my mom "What's for dinner?" every day drove my mother crazy when I was a kid.

Now that I'm a mom, my kids ask me the same thing and I go batty every time. Something about that simple question taps into my anxiety about cooking. Just like cleaning, it will never be completely done. Just when you finish one meal, it's time to start preparing for the next.

On top of that, I was a very picky kid and I pretty much never liked what we were having for dinner. Now I've got my own picky kid and I can't stand catering to her culinary needs.

Who wants to slave all day over a hot stove only to see her work ignored at meal time? Why cook for kids who won't appreciate my efforts?

I recently attended a cooking workshop in the home of a friend-of-a-friend, led by another friend-of-a-friend, Alma Schneider.

A social worker and amateur chef, Alma started her own business, Take Back the Kitchen, to help women overcome the obstacles to cooking.

Alma circulated a handout, “How Not Cooking Affects Your Life," to the room of mothers looking for some culinary guidance.

“Are you stressed out at dinner time or other times of the day about food or cooking?
“Do you get overwhelmed about bringing a dish to a potluck, bake sale or dinner party?
“Are you envious of friends who seem to be able to ‘whip up’ dishes at a moment’s notice?

Yes, yes, and yes.

The brochure lists “self-limiting beliefs about cooking” and I can relate to nearly every one. In particular: “I can’t cook because I don’t have the ‘cooking gene’ and “I’m so far behind, I can never catch up.”

In her private workshops, Alma asks clients to imagine that you have reached all of your cooking goals and fantasies.

My goal is simple: to be able to cook something edible. But I just get into the kitchen and panic.

Alma shows us how to whip up a few basics (it's not so hard when someone is there guiding me through it). And then she has a handy suggestion for those of us with picky kids at home.

Why not draw up a weekly menu which incorporates foods your kids like and foods they don't like? As long as there is at least one thing you know they'll eat, you don't have to worry that they'll starve.

Try to include dishes that can easily be adapted for picky kids and discerning adults. Then you won't have to cook two separate dinners every night.

So here is what I came up with:

Monday -- "Breakfast for Dinner" - Cheese omelette, toast, turkey bacon and carrots. Fresh fruit. Avo and I can have the same thing, but maybe add a fancier filling to the omelette.

Tuesday -- Mexican night -- Cheese quesadilla with carrots. Fresh fruit. Again, Avo and I can have the same thing, but with a different filling, such as a chicken quesadilla.

Wednesday -- Classic American -- Macaroni and cheese with fish sticks. Fresh fruit and carrots. Avo and I can have catfish instead of fish sticks.

Thursday -- Italian -- Penne and chicken nuggets. Fresh fuit and veggies. Avo and I can have ravioli and chicken cutlet.

Friday -- Japanese -- Rice and edamame. Avo and I will have a Thai stir-fry with tofu and veggies.

The kids seem to like knowing what's for dinner and I like them not asking me!

Sometime soon, I'll feature a Q&A with Alma Schneider, who will share some more tips for conquering your fear of cooking and taking back the kitchen!