Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The Grossest Recipe Ever

As you might have guessed, the recipe exchange I recently participated in, was a total and complete bust. I received only one recipe -- and I'm honestly not sure if that one was a gag.

Here it is so you can judge for yourself:

Broccoli Slaw

1 lb. bag shredded broccoli slaw
1 cup toasted slivered almonds
1/2 cup craisins
1/2 red pepper, diced
1/3 cup sugar
2 pkgs. ramen noodles crumbled by hand
1 cup soy or pignoli nuts
1/2 bunch scallions - dice with scissors
3/4 cup canola oil
1/3 cup white rice vinegar

Combine all above ingredients. Season with salt and pepper.

First off, what the Heck is broccoli slaw? A combination of broccoli and cole slaw? The name itself turns my stomach. Secondly, are there any decent recipes that call for craisins? Finally, do any decent chefs dice scallions with scissors?

What really tipped me off to the fact that this might be a friend playing a joke on me is the part about "ramen noodles crumbled by hand." That sounds like the sort of thing I might have "cooked" in my truly undomesticated days. I'm assuming they're referring to raw ramen noodles and not cooked!

Needless to say, I won't be trying this one out anytime soon. Not only does it sound disgusting, but I've been sick with the flu and haven't felt up to cooking anything anyhow.

I'm wondering if anyone knows of a more unappetizing recipe. If so, please let me know. It might be fun to collect them.


Tasty Trix said...

The sad thing is, this sounds like a recipe that Sandra Lee would make. Most of her recipes seem like they should have been jokes. Believe it or not, I may have a more disgusting recipe. It's a Minute Rice recipe for alleged "Mexican" chicken and rice. Enjoy! http://tastytrix.blogspot.com/2009/07/recipe-hall-of-shame.html

Bernie Bernstein said...

It's Me, Mom - I made broccoli slaw, ONCE. It's the shredded stalks of broccoli, not the florets. We weren't crazy about it. You're really catching on. Yes, the ramen noodles should be broken up by hand before they're cooked. Here's my Chinese Peanut Slaw recipe which you may have tasted when you visited.

1 - 3 oz. package chicken flavored ramen noodles
1/3 Cup peanut oil
3 Tbspn Rice Vinegar
2 Tbspn sugar
1 small cabbage (1-1/2 lbs) shredded (you can usually buy this already shredded)
1/2 cup sliced green onions
1 Cup dry roasted peanuts
1/4 Cup sesame seeds

Remove seasoning packet from noodles and set aside.
Bake noodles on cookie sheet at 400degrees for 5 minutes or until golden. Add sesame seeds to toast for last 2-3 minutes.
Combine seasoning packet & oil, vinegar and sugar in a small bowl. Whisk until blended...chill.
Before serving, combine cabbage mixture, scallions and chilled dressing.
Toss well and sprinkle with toasted noodles, sesame seeds and peanuts.
Serve chilled.

This is really yummy and good as a summer side dish.

Undomesticated Me said...

Mom, I think I've gained enough confidence as a home cook that I can safely say I will never have to "cook" with ramen noodles again!

SZ said...

I'm almost embarrassed to admit it but I've had this slaw. My sister makes it. And dang, it's pretty tasty. I hate broccoli but if it's shredded and mixed up with lots of other stuff, it's totally OK.

Undomesticated Me said...

SZ, I'm intrigued. I might have to try this after all.

Alma Schneider said...

I, too, Alma Schneider, of the WORLD famous Take Back the Kitchen blog :-) have made this recipe and it is damn good! I confess! I ate it at a BBQ and I was in heaven!

Undomesticated Me said...

Okay, clearly I was wrong about this one. I've heard from another people that this is a decent recipe, that I've decided to give it a try. If the esteemed Alma Schneider says it's good, then it must be!

Mari said...

Is this why you needed the expensive pignoli nuts? btw every time I scrape the price tag off something, so my husband wont see the high price, I think of you!